Clown

From NSS Phoenix
Civilian Staff
File:Clown.png
Clown
Access: Vacant Office
Difficulty: Hardest
Supervisors: Head of Personnel
Duties: raise crew moral
Guides:

The Clown is a job meant to boost crew moral through jokes and funny antics, though more often than not, they fall into either the category of "Beat up for stress relief" or "Makes an ass of themselves" though there ARE exceptions, and there is some support for the latter type being a thing in the first place. They have access to their office, and that's about it.

Walking the line

The clown, originally an artifact job from the past when it was meant as a punishment job, has come to be a regular part of the station's lifestyle, and most shifts aren't complete without a clown doing SOMETHING, be it getting abused by security, spacing themselves in search of bannannium, or simply getting drunk in the bar. Unfortunately, there's a large number of clowns who show up on the station who fall squarely into a category little better than animals, working endlessly to make an ass out of themselves, and making life on a station unbearable. These Honk Drones, Named such for their predictably mindless Honking and assnine nature, tend to be handled in short order by security, and while explainable, they are most often simply treated as psychotic individuals, or simply as assholes.

That said, a good clown, while uncommon, can actually accomplish the job it's meant for, raising the crew moral through innocent and harmless antics, though this often requires a quicker wit than most are willing to put into the role, making this kind actually more uncommon than any other type of clown. A Great Clown, however, unlike the former two, can be all but a force of nature aboard the station they're upon, due in small part to their lack of initial access and the reputation of all clowns on the whole as being harmless or unskilled pranksters. A properly skilled clown can be the savior of a station without anyone realizing it, or the destroyer incarnate, reducing the station around them to ruin through their antics alone, though these are uncommon.

However, due to the Honk Drones out there, all clowns need to learn to walk the line between good and bad in public, so as to avoid being abused by security at the slightest provocation simply because they can get away with it more often than not, and don't fool yourself if you plan to play clown, it's nearly impossible to garner sympathy as a clown without FAR more work being put into the character than any other due to the nature of the role.

Things to Know

As the clown, your official job description is to raise the crew's moral. how you do that however is entirely up to you. Many clowns prefer, when not actively trying to be an asshole, to hang out in the bar, and that's a fine place for the clown indeed, while others choose to antagonize security, knowing that the ensueing beatings will amuse the crew to some degree. other clowns choose to play a role, often supplementing this with the costumes available in their office to entertain the crew, ranging from Gladiators, to Space Pirate Capp'ns, with the choice being up to the clown in question. However, there's a few things to keep in mind as a clown.

You spawn with less access than pretty much any other job short of assistant, making it VERY difficult to get anywhere but the hallways, bar, stardeck, and so on without help, or skill.

Security HATES YOUR GUTS if you're a new clown, and often even if you're a regular on the station, sec's liable to abuse you on sight. this is standard for clowns to expect, and will happen nearly every round. If you're near a security situation as well, you're liable to be arrested on the assumption that you were involved somehow, regardless of witness accounts, unless sec itself sees that you didn't have a hand in things. It's often best to stay AWAY from security situations till they get resolved, unless you're requested by security specifically.

As the clown, you actually can't weild guns without fumbling them every time, due to the code itself, so those enterprising non-antag clowns who get a tazer are best off turning it in to sec for brownie points, or selling it to a REAL antag.

Equipment

As the clown, you don't start with anything obviously useful, excluding a bannanna peel hidden under your door that's liable to slip you every time you go out it, but that doesn't mean you don't actually have some good gear. a well prepared clown can use his starting gear and a few nearby goodies that can save your life, or others, in a pinch. The first and most useful thing you have is actually your mask. As a clown, you spawn wearing a clown mask, which is entirely useable with air tanks for internals, meaning you NEVER have to remove the mask to breath from an air tank, something that normally gets the crew suspicious of people over, since the only other readily available mask that conceals your identity is the gas mask, something you have to find to use, unlike the clown mask, which you're EXPECTED to wear. it also has other less obvious properties that can keep one from getting just the wrong kind of attention.

Second to your mask that you should know about are your shoes. while the clown shoes have a fun squeaking noise to them, they actually reduce your movement speed significantly, and for players with sound setups, they can give your position away while you try to flee assailants, be they security or nuke ops. swapping these for a different pair is highly recommended. (protip, unwanted clown shoes can also be died to look like sneakers, which if you can get onto another player, still squeak, which can be hilarious, as well as slows them. used on a security officer, this is a true achievement in clown skills.)

Beyond that, the clown has a few things in their backpack. first, and most noticeably is the water flower. this has a fair bit of water in it, but other than as a novelty, it's not actually useful for slipping people. take it, leave it, it's your choice. You also start with a bike horn, which can be honked to make the same noise your mask, and PDA cartridge make already. aside from these, you also spawn with a rainbow crayon, the clown's calling card, often used to mark the floors station-wide with Honkmother themed graffiti, but as a backup plan, the crayon can actually be nibbled for food indefinitely, though it most likely won't fill you up. you can never use up this crayon, however, even with nibbling. it can also be tucked behind an ear for easy access and storage. The only other items worth note in a clown's backpack are the internals box, which, aside from the tank, which can be removed, is useless except for storage, as you already have a mask, and a box of crayons.

Many clowns forget, however, that this is far from the only things available to them, and there are in fact a few things worth noticing in their office. the first, and most important by far, is the Honkmergency closet. inside this, the clown's armor is kept. while they have a funny appearance, maintaining the clown look when work, the clown armor is worth noting, and also worth carting with you if your character knows how, because while it slows you, the armor is in fact working armor, capable of protecting you from some harm, and spaceworthy which means that, along with engineers and the captain, the clown is one of the few roles on the station with access to a full set of space worthy equipment at the onset of the shift without having to break in someplace or leave the station. during hull breaches, this armor can helpa clown save themselves, as well as others, should they be so inclined.

The last thing worth noting in the office is the vending machine in the corner. this is actually stocked to the brim with costume pieces, and a bored clown can always find something in here to spice their round up a bit.


Clown lore

Now, despite the clown profession appearing to be all fun and games, there are a few clowns who take things seriously, and a few things are worth noting in regards to clowns themselves. Firstly, clowns are present in every culture thus far discovered, including unathi and tajaran, in some capacity, be it as a jester, fool, or so on, and not all of them are paid, some seeming to do it just for the hell of it, and these rare clowns often refuse to explain why. that said, these clowns are rare, and the vast majority of clowns on station are little more than working men and women who were desperate for work. of course, this isn't always the case, and it's up to the person just where their clown came from.

Traitor

Traitoring as a clown is one of the hardest things to successfully do in the entire game, due in no small part to the stigma clowns have, and as a result, it's highly recommended that clowns lacking confidence or experience in the role or in traitoring transfer to a less suspicious profession immediately, if they want to get green text. that said, it's one of the most satisfying achievments for a lot of players to successfully complete their objectives as a traitor clown, and there are a few things to keep in mind that can help improve your chances at that.

First, you start with a full suit for space walking. in a REALLY desperate situation, with proper preparation, you can break out a window into space when security's coming, and be gone before anyone can catch you, though getting in can be VERY tricky without being caught. Secondly, as a clown, you're expected to be causing mischief, so anything short of full blown murder or the like can often be explained away as clownish antics, making it entirely possible to get out of an otherwise no-win situation simply by talking. (this segment work in progress.)

Jobs on the NSS Phoenix
Heads of Staff:
Captain - Head of Personnel - Head of Security - Chief Engineer - Research Director - Chief Medical Officer
Law and Order:
Security Officer - Warden - Detective - Internal Affairs Agent - Department Guard
Engineering:
Station Engineer - Atmospheric Technician
Science and Medical:
Medical Doctor - Psychologist - Chemist - Geneticist - Virologist - Roboticist - Scientist
Civilian:
Assistant - Engineering - Janitor - Chaplain - Librarian
Food and Drink:
Chef - Bartender - Botanist
Supply:
Quartermaster - Cargo Technician - Shaft Miner
Non-Human:
AI - Cyborg - Personal AI - Construct - Ghost - Mouse
Antagonists:
Mercenary - Changeling - Xenomorph - Wizard - Vox Raider - Cortical Borer
Special:
Emergency Response Team - Space Ninja